


Breaking Up Isn't Easy (Not when you're still in love)

by girlintheivy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Break Up, Cas purrs like a cat and it's adorable, Hand Jobs, Hospitals, M/M, Trust, Wing Kink, but not for long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 19:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlintheivy/pseuds/girlintheivy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester returned from a job to find his home and car completely wrecked, boyfriend missing. Suddenly, Castiel won't give him any straight answers and is asking to break up. But, Dean's not willing to let the best thing in his life go without a fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Up Isn't Easy (Not when you're still in love)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an rp I did with a friend, but with a scene added at the end. Hope you enjoy!

Cas, are you okay? What the hell happened? D

I cannot talk to you currently, Dean Winchester. C

What? What the hell are you talking about? D

I can talk to you, I just do not want to. C

What? Why not? Cas, I have no idea what’s going on! My impala is almost completely ruined and the inside of our apartment is in ashes! D

We’re through. C

...What? D

Breaking up. No longer a couple. C

Yeah I know what it fuckin means! Why the hell do you think that’s a good idea? D

Because it is. You can be free to flirt with all those girls. C

I don’t want to flirt with anyone but you! What’s wrong? Did I do something? D

I don’t give a fuck I just thought you were hurt, Cas! Talk to me, why are you doing this? D

I’ll be fine. I’ll heal. This isn’t working. C

What isn’t? Stop this. Stop it now. Did I do something? D

No. We’re done. C

Why the hell won’t you talk to me?! You were telling me you loved me this morning and now you’re dumping me? D

...I’m at a hospital in New York. C

What?! Are you okay? What happened? D

I was in the apartment. We’re still broken up. I’ll give you back your shirt. C

Cas...I don’t want my shirt back. What the hell is going on? D

Angels came and fought with me. We’re breaking up, Dean. C

...No. We’re not. D

Yes, we are. C

You wanna dump me? Fine. But you’re coming home and dumping me to my face. Not this shit over the phone. D

I can’t currently walk home. Or leave the hospital. Let’s just break up like this. C

No, I’ll come to you. Or you can wait. D

Dean, no. C

No, what? Can’t break up with me now that you have to see me to do it? D

I don’t want to see you! C

...What did they say to you? D

Nothing, Dean! C

Right. You just don’t love me anymore. D

Dean, we’re through. You don’t want this! C

Excuse me? Are you telling me how I fucking feel? How about you tell me how you feel? Tell me you don’t love me. D

Dean. Stop. C

Tell me. D

No. Dean, stop it. C

I will no. Tell me now or I’m coming to find you. D

Dean. C

All right. I should be there in a few hours. D

You don’t have a car. C

Already bought the plane tickets. D

You don’t know where I am. C

You already said New York. And on top of that, you have a GPS on your phone. D

Invasion of my privacy. C

Tell me you don’t love me and I won’t come. D

Dean! Stop this. We’re over. C

I am not going to fucking stop until you dump me like a man, Castiel! And you’ll explain to me why it “isn’t work.” D

It could never work. You like women. I was an experiment. C

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Plus that sounds like something someone told you earlier and you’re spitting it back in my face. D

It’s the truth. You have always been with women. I’m just an angel. A fallen angel at that. C

This is for the best. C

No. It’s not. I love you and I’m not giving you up because you’re being stupid. Tell me you don’t love me. In boarding now so it’s your last chance. D

Dean. Some things just aren’t meant to be. C

Getting on the plane. D

Please stop this. C

No. D

Why are you so stubborn?! C

Because I love you. D

You’re making a mistake. Dean, just go home. You’ll get over me. C

Chances are, you’ll even forget about me. C

No, I won’t. Don’t you hear me when I’m talking to you? I love you. I’ve never loved anyone more than you and I know I never will. You’re my angel. My baby. The only person I’ve ever wanted to share a life with. D

Dean...please, please stop. C

Stop it! You sound just like Michael! You think I don’t know you? You think I don’t know what you sound like? Because I know the difference between my Cas and anyone else! I love you and I’m never giving you up. D

Please stop, this is too hard, Dean please. C

No. I’m not stopping. You’re mine and I know you love me. I’m not letting you go and I’ll beat Michael’s face in when I see him. D

It wasn’t him, Dean! This is all me. All just me. C

Then tell me you don’t love me and you never want to see me again. Say it. D

Just go back and stay with Sam. C

If you don’t have your own words to say, then shut the fuck up. D

These are my words! You’ll be safer and happier without me! C

Nope. Shut up. D

Stop trying and I will! C

No I don’t think that sounds like you either. D

I pulled you out of hell. I know your heart. C

Well doesn’t seem like you really do, to be honest. D

You want a family. I can’t give you that. C

Stop grabbing at straws. D

Stop holding on. C

Plane is taking off. D

Dean, please don't come. I can't stand if you do. C

Have to turn my phone off now. I'll see you in about two hours. D

Dean. C

Love you, too. D

Don't. C

[no response]

Dean sat in terrified silence the entire plane ride, his eyes squeezed shut and every muscle in his body tense. He didn't touch the alcohol though, refusing to be any where near drunk or even tipsy for when he saw Cas next. He ran off the plan when he could, sighing and getting a taxi to the hospital. He had luckily made it for visiting hours.

He was stopped by a nurse as he walked in, looking around a little lost. "Who are you here for?"

"Castiel Winchester. I'm his husband." Dean looked at her, looking nervous and frazzled. There was no hesitation in his answer, knowing Castiel that well. "Do you know where he is?

"Oh, you're Castiel's husband, the one who keeps making him cry. You be gentle with him, we just upped his morphine and he's a little loopy,” the nurse explained as she led him down the hall.

Dean's jaw tensed as he followed after the nurse. "Thank you." He walked in and tossed his backpack into a chair nearby. He stood at the end of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at Cas patiently.

Cas's arm was in a cast and he looked thoroughly beaten up, with black eye and split lip, bruises down the side of his neck and cuts, just visible through the hospital gown neck. His ribs were fractured too, but that wasn't yet visible. Unfocused, his eyes went up to meet Dean's. His voice was rough as he said simply, "Dean."

"Wanna break up with me and you check in under my name? Got some balls."

"Go away, you're not supposed to be here." Cas tried to turn away from Dean but ended up just whimpering as he jarred one of his injuries.

"Hey, don't move like that," Dean said as he went over and situated him with gentle hands. He sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. "Now. Try that again."

"Leave me alone, Dean. I told you everything on the phone." Cas turned his head away from Dean, pressing himself into the pillow.

"Yeah, well, hate to tell you, but you can't do it over the phone. Doesn't count."

"You've broken up with plenty of girl on the phone."

"Not over a text. Now come on. Let me hear it." Dean crossed his arms over his chest and looked at him patiently.

"We're done. Broken up." Cas closed his eyes, not looking at Dean. His voice was flat and hollow.

"Now tell me why."

"Because we're not working. Dean, I don't want to talk anymore."

"I don't care what you want. You're going to talk to me and do this properly if you want to do it. Why aren't we working?"

Cas shook his head. "Dean, I don't want to talk anymore. My head hurts."

"Fine. I'll be here when you wake up." Dean moved to the chair next to Cas' bed, sitting down and making himself comfortable.

"Dean, just...just forget about me and move on and find yourself a pretty girl."

"Nope. You sleep; we'll talk when you want to."

"I don't ever want to talk about this." Cas tugged the blanket higher, attempting to pull it over his head.

"Well then, we'll talk when your head doesn't hurt so much." Dean pulled out a book from his backpack.

"My head's not the problem. My chest...it hurts." Cas again tried to curl up under the blankets, whimpering when his broken arm got in the way.

Dean stood and gently moved Cas into a comfortable position for him, pulling the blanket over him. "That's because you're not thinking. Shush now." He kissed his temple and pet his dark hair, sitting back down again.

"...Dean, please...please just stop being so tender and loving with me." Cas shuddered at Dean's touch, longing for more.

"Nope. Go to sleep now, Cas." Dean was reading his book again, relaxed in his chair.

Cas made another soft, unhappy sound, but he said no more, instead closing his eyes and falling under the morphine.

Dean looked up at Cas, letting his heart keep breaking as he watched him sleep. He was exhausted. His terror on the plane had taken it out of him, on top of his heartbreak and the panic of finding the apartment. But, he just sat there and waited silently. The nurses did not kick him out.

A while later, a nurse came in to check Cas's vitals and bring him lunch. She took one look at Dean and handed him the tray. "Here, eat up, Mr. Winchester. Looks like the two of you are hitting a rough patch."

Dean smiled up at the nurse and took it. "Thanks. He's just being stubborn. Don't worry, we'll make it through." He looked lovingly at Cas. "We always do."

"I'm rooting for you too. He was in tears earlier from the texts, if that's any consolation. I really don't think he wants to do it."

Dean looked up at her and nodded. "I know he doesn't. Thank you, ma'am." He looked back at his Cas, food still in his hands.

"Eat up. I'll bring around a second tray.

Dean nodded and obeyed, looking up at Cas while he ate. His baby...

Cas woke up slowly, a little punch drunk. He looked around blearily, shaking his head and shivering. He tugged, annoyed, at the IVs, wanting them off.

"Hey now. Stop that." Dean pushed the food aside and took Cas' hand, setting it down and sitting on the edge of the bed.

For a few moments, Cas did not remember he and Dean were fighting, so he just smiled at him, squeezing his hand. And then he remembered and he pulled back, looking away. "Dean. I told you to leave."

"Well, that's not going to happen until you talk to me." Dean gave him a look.

"I don't want to talk to you, Dean."

"I don't care. You have to explain yourself. Sooner you do it, sooner I might leave."

"I...had a revelation that we were not as happy as we could be together. So, it's for the best that we split."

"Well that is really stupid." Dean rolled his eyes. "Also, you had a 'revelation?' You listenin' to angels again? Goin' back up to heaven and listening to the jackasses who don't give a shit about you?" Dean gave him a look and shook his head. "If you're not as happy as you want to be, you tell me. And we fix it. We work together to fix it, you don't just end it."

"You can't fix everything, Dean!" Cas shouted.

"But we can try, Cas! You can't just give up! You want to just give up? Is that what I mean to you?"

"...Dean, that's not fair." Cas looked at his hands, suddenly cowed by Dean’s words. "I went to Hell for you."

"Yeah. I know how much you care about me. That's why I don't buy this bullshit and I'm waiting for you to come around and tell me what the fuck is wrong." Dean's voice wasn't mean or angry. It was stern.

"We are wrong." Cas shook his head, heart rate rocketing upwards. "We are wrong! We can't stay together, Dean." 

Just then, a nurse walked in, glaring at Dean. Her voice was clipped and annoyed. "Castiel, you need quiet and rest so you can recover."

Dean took a deep breath and looked up at her. He stood and looked a little desperate, his voice pleading. "Please. I know he needs to recover. But I need to talk to him... this is a matter of losing my husband." He was letting everything show now. His exhaustion, his heartbreak, his absolute desperation.

"You two need to be more careful,” She said with a sigh, looking between the two of them. She went over and messed around with Cas's IVs and injected something. "Now, give him five minutes and you two can start discussing things again." She bustled out of the room.

Cas waited until she was out of the room before whispering, "You're not my husband."

"You go ahead and tell them that..." Dean lifted up the clipboard at the end of the bed and read off, "Winchester comma Castiel." He looked up at him with a look that told him not to try and use that argument.

Cas deflated under Dean's gaze, slumping down on the pillows. "...why are you fighting so hard? Dean, there is...this is done..."

"Not until you do it right, it's not. So shut up and rest. I don't want you in more pain than you're putting yourself in." Dean collapsed in his chair and sighed, closing his eyes and rubbed the inside of his eyes.

"Dean...go to a hotel and rest. You need sleep." Cas's voice was gentle and tender, even though he was looking everywhere but at Dean. It was breaking his heart to see Dean like this.

"No, I'm comfortable here, thanks." Dean swallowed and just relaxed into the chair, silent.

"No, you're not. You hate hospitals, love. Even I know that."

"I'm not comfortable unless I have you near. So, I won't do anything in a hotel that I won't do here. So deal with it."

"The chairs aren't comfortable here. You're tired and feeling sick. You took a plane here...you hate flying..."

Dean stayed silent, looking over at Cas and relaxing slightly. "Yeah. I do. But I love you more than I hate flying."

"....Dean. Stop..."

"Nope."

"Why are dragging this out? It's just more painful!" Cas tried to sit up, but ended up tumbling back onto his back.

"Well, then, stop making it painful and tell me the truth."

"...I want you to leave." Cas's voice broke as he spoke. "I want you to leave and move on and find yourself someone better."

"Tell me you don't love me. You haven't said it yet." Dean's voice was quiet.

"Why do I have to say it? It's obvious if I want you to leave me forever."

"No. It's not obvious at all." Dean tilted his head to the side, staring at Cas. "Because you're trying to pull some martyr bullshit that Michael or Naomi's talked you into. And I'm not having any of it."

Cas tried to look away down, away from Dean's eyes, but Dean just kept moving in the right way to catch them. He flushed, upset, shoulders going up defensively. "Dean...please...why can't you do this for me? If you really love me, letting me go should be easy."

"Do you even hear what you just said? If I love you, I'll let you shove me away?" Dean sat forward, giving him a semi-disgusted look. "I don't believe you. I won't leave until you tell me you don't love me. Or you can tell me the truth."

Cas burst into tears at that. He felt horrible and weak and tired and he just wanted Dean to kiss him and make it better. He brushed away his tears on the blanket, trying to calm down. "Dean...please."

Dean got up then and carefully sat on the bed next to Cas, pulling him close as carefully as he could, not wanting to hurt him. He reached up, gently brushing his tears away and kissing the top of his head. "Shh, now. It's okay."

Cas could not stop himself from melting into Dean's touch, shaking as a few more tears fell. "It's not okay...Dean, why can't you give up on me?"

Dean held him close, rubbing his shoulder and brushing his tears away again, touching him to let him know he wasn't alone. He wasn't going anywhere. "Because you mean too much to me."

Cas winced when Dean's hand got a little too close to his shoulder blades. "I'm giving you a way out. You can leave."

"I don't want a way out. I never wanted to leave. I love you, Cas... I don't want anything but you. Shh now, I'm sorry." He moved his hand from Cas' shoulder and arm and up to pet his hair lovingly.

Cas purred softly despite himself. He was still shaking like a leaf, but Dean held him close so he was able to clutch at Dean's shirt and close his eyes, pressing his head against Dean's chest.

"That's it, baby... I've got you now. You're okay, I'm not going to let anything else happen to you, Cas. Calm down now." Dean kept him close, feeling comfortable again now that he had his boyfriend in his arms.

Cas rather quickly obeyed Dean's order, his tears stopping and his breathing evening out. He didn't move, deciding to stay in Dean's arms, because it was safe there and even Dean had been able to tell that Cas couldn't break up with him.

"That's it, good." Dean leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Take your time now, baby. I'm not going anywhere."

"You should have listened to me and left, Dean." Cas just clutched tighter to Dean's shirt, not wanting to let him go. In case Dean changed his mind and wanted to run away, Cas was going to hold onto him and try and keep him there.

"I would go through another forty years of hell just for you, Cas. I'm not going anywhere. I'll take on all the angels of Heaven for you if it means I can keep you safe and mine." Dean reached up and cupped the side of his face, stroking the side of his face lovingly.

Cas looked at Dean, a mix of sad and love, and he didn't know what he wanted to do or say. So, he just held onto Dean and looked up at him, hoping he would know what to say or do.

Dean gave him a sad sort of lopsided smile, his eyes desperate and hopeful as he whispered, "You still love me... right, baby?"

"...never stopped." Cas took Dean's other hand gingerly and pressed it to his heart. "Feel that? It...it's always been yours."

Dean smiled in relief, his eyes turning a little wet as he leaned down to kiss Cas lovingly. He pulled away and whispered, "I love you, baby. It's going to be okay."

Cas whimpered and pulled Dean in for another kiss, holding Dean against him. His uninjured arm wrapped around Dean's head to cradle him there. The arm in a cast clumsily wrapped around Dean's waist.

Dean kissed him back, being gentle and just reassuring Cas that he was still there. When they pulled away, he just pet his dark hair and let them sit in contented silence.

Cas nuzzled and kissed at Dean's neck, just needing to be close to him. He did not want to speak, but he knew Dean had questions. However, Dean decided that for right now, he needed to make sure Cas was happy and comfortable. So, he let them sit in silence, just holding onto each other until the angel felt like he was ready to talk. Cas tugged on Dean's shirt and just stayed there. Eventually a nurse came in. "Good to see you two have patched things up."

Dean smiled at her and nodded. "Yeah... I think so." He kissed the top of Cas' hand gently. "Hey... if anyone comes to see him... can you get their name and run it by me first?"

The nurse nodded. "Of course." 

Cas frowned. "I can take care of myself."

"Mmm." Dean rubbed the top of his head and kissed his temple. "Not like this, you can't, baby."

Cas huffed, but he didn't say anything else, just grumbling quietly. The nurse laughed and said she would be back with some food for Cas in a little bit.

Dean watched her go and then swallowed, tilting Cas's head back to kiss him. He then asked, soft and gently,"You ready to talk to me, baby?" 

Cas looked at Dean and then nodded slowly. "But only if you lie back on the bed and hold me.."

"Okay. Hold on, there's some... button or shit... stupid hospital beds... having buttons." Dean found the remote and made them lay down after a few mishaps. When they were in a horizontal position and Dean had his arms properly around Cas, he sighed and nodded. "All right."

Cas was quiet and just kissed Dean's skin periodically as Dean got them situated. He rested his head on Dean's chest and closed his eyes, laying on his side and letting Dean cradle him close. Dean pet the locks of Cas’s hair and kissed his forehead before letting his hand run over Cas's side. "Why are you in New York?"

"I just...I just ran. It was the place I got to first."

"Okay... that's okay." Dean kissed his forehead, swallowing and trying to be gentle with him. "Why can't you heal yourself?"

Cas hummed, slipping his good hand under the hem of Dean's shirt to stroke his skin. "They...they did things to me."

Dean swallowed and kissed the top of his head. He kept everything gentle and loving, trying not to scare Cas off. "Like what, baby?" 

"...we fought. You saw the state of the apartment and your baby." Cas sighed. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay... it's okay, I don't care about those as much as I care about you..." Dean swallowed and kissed his forehead again. "What did they want?"

"...they want what they always want, for me to come home and serve them." Cas slipped his hand higher up under Dean's shirt, rubbing little circles into his skin.

"My baby. I love you... I'm sorry I wasn't there." He leaned down and kissed Cas tenderly.

Cas purred softly, enjoying the kiss. He shook his head. "Dean...I can take care of myself."

"I should have been there. I should have helped." Dean kissed him again, cupping the side of his face and stroking his cheekbone.

Cas sighed and cocked his head, looking at Dean gently. "You had a job."

"You're more important." Dean held him a little closer. "Don't think about it anymore. I'll take care of you."

"I know you will...you always take care of me, love." Cas yawned and nuzzled Dean's neck.

"Go to sleep... you can eat when you wake up." Dean swallowed and just kept him close. "They won't hurt you anymore."

Cas nodded and said softly, "I love you..."

"I love you, too, baby. Don't ever forget that." Dean swallowed and felt a sharp pain in his chest as he realized he was part of the reason the angels hurt his Cas.

Cas fell asleep, holding onto Dean through his sleep. A few hours later, he woke up again to his stomach growling, a process that confused him. He looked down at his stomach in confusion.

"You're hungry, baby." Dean kissed the top of his head with a smile. "Push that button... there... the nurse will bring you some food."

"The vessel is hungry." Cas corrected Dean, still not used to Jimmy being dead and Cas being Jimmy. He reached over for the button with his arm in a cast.

Dean chuckled and pressed the button for him, pressing closer to Cas. He leaned back and whispered, "Whatever you say."

The nurse came in with a tray of food. "Figured you'd be hungry...so you two made up?" She smiled fondly and set up the tray on a table for Cas. Cas flushed and closed his eyes, trying to hide again.

Dean ran his fingers through Cas’s hair and nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you." He pulled the table in front of Cas and himself carefully, just wanting to make sure the food was close.

Cas leaned against Dean's chest and started eating, making a face at the chicken. "It doesn't taste like anything..."

"That's hospital food for ya... I'll text Gabe. Tell him to bring you something better." Dean pulled his phone out of his pocket without dislodging them apart.

Cas nibbled at the food. He liked the rice and really liked the chocolate milk. He purred and smiled up at Dean. 

Meanwhile, Gabriel was busy licking his way down Sam's body. He smirked up playfully at Sam, who was on his back, panting.

Gabe. Cas is in the hospital. Hates the food here. Bring him something he likes when you bring Sam up. But finish fucking him first. D

Gabriel groaned and glanced at the phone on the nightstand as it beeped. He looked up at Sam. "Hang on, babe. That's Dean." He looked at the phone and then stared at the message, sitting up. "...Cas is in the hopsital."

Is he okay? G

Sam looked up and blinked. "What? Is he okay?" 

He's fine. Just wants good food. D

Gabriel shook his head. "Apparently so." 

Do you need us there? G

He'll want to see you. But he's still scared and healing. Take your time. D 

Sam got up and walked over to Gabe to look over his shoulder, hands wrapping around his waist. Gabriel sighed, tapping out into his phone. Okay. I'll bring Sam. G 

He turned and looked back at his lover. "He says Cas is fine, just scared and healing. I'm to finish fucking you first."

Sam smiled and took his phone. "Always thoughtful, my brother." He set the phone down and kissed him. "Did he need anything?"

"Good food. Cassie must be out of it if he's eating."

Sam nodded a little. "All right. Come on then." He walked back over to the bed. "Let's follow orders." 

Dean set his phone aside and smiled. "There. Good food will come soon." He kissed the top of Cas's head and held him closer.

Cas yawned, putting down his fork. He had eaten about half of the tasteless food and now was tired again. Dean hummed 'Eye of the Tiger' softly as he pushed their table away, rubbing his shoulders lovingly.

Cas closed his eyes and pressed himself to Dean again. "I'm sorry...my body's just so tired..."

"That's all right... it's okay, baby. Promise."

"We'll talk more...later." Cas yawned against and then tugged up Dean's shirt so he could nuzzle at his boyfriend's warm skin before falling asleep. Dean let him do as he pleased and relaxed, stroking his hair and watching him sleep. 

Cas yawned and woke up a few more hours later, nuzzling Dean happily. And then he got annoyed with the wires and cast and pulled away from Dean, trying to pull them out.

"Stop that, baby." Dean took his hand and twined their fingers together and gave him a kiss. "You'll only hurt yourself."

Cas pouted, looking hopelessly at Dean. "I don't like them..."

"I know, baby... but they're helping you. They'll come out when we can leave." Dean kissed his pout gently, trying to calm him down.

Cas made an annoyed sound, slumping down on Dean's chest. "They're not helping me. I'm an angel."

"Inside, baby. But make sure you take care of that vessel... it's hard for me to fuck a celestial being." Dean smiled playfully and just held him cose.

Cas leaned up and kissed Dean softly. "...maybe I want you to sleep with me right now..."

"Nope. Sorry, baby."

Cas glared at Dean, but his glare didn't hold much actual venom. He was just tired and missed Dean's touch. "Please?" He ran a hand down Dean's chest hopefully. "How about I play a little bit?"

Dean took Cas's hand gently and kissed his fingertips slowly. "No, baby, come on. I don't want you to get more hurt than you already are."

Cas growled softly, looking at Dean tenderly. "You won't hurt me...I need...I need to feel you again. I miss you...your touch..."

"I'm right here, baby. I'm right here, you're okay. Be patient." Dean kissed him gently. "You're tired and loopy..."

Cas pouted and then tugged on the wires to get some slack. He then climbed on top of Dean and kissed him, hiding his whimper of pain.

"No. No, no, no. Cas, please." Dean picked Cas up as gently as he could to set him back down next to him. "Don't make this harder on me."

Cas whimpered and immediately turn onto his side, keeping pressure off his back. He grumbled, "...fine, Dean."

Dean leaned in and kissed all over the side of Cas' face, cupping his neck gently. "I'm sorry, baby. I am. I love you."

"....it's okay, Dean. I understand." Cas nuzzled Dean's shoulder. "I love you too." 

There was a sharp knocking on the door. "We're coming in! I fixed your Impala, by the way, but Sammy wouldn’t let me drive. So lame." Gabriel led the way in, smiling brightly and holding a tupperware container. "Hey Dean, Cassie--Castiel, what did they do to your wings?" His entire mood took a complete turn around and he stared in horror at Cas, trying to comprehend what he was seeing.

Dean smiled and then froze, arms tightening around Cas. "What?" His voice was quiet and then he looked down at his boyfriend in fear. "What?" He felt fear and anger building in his chest again. Cas gave Gabriel a scared look and then pressed his face into Dean's shirt, curling himself around his boyfriend and choosing not to speak. Gabriel stared at Cas, trying to understand. Dean looked up at Gabriel, eyes wide as he swallowed. He was scared, but started realizing why Cas's shoulders hurt so much. He gave Gabe a look that said out. Come back later. At the moment, Dean needed to talk to Castiel and figure out to what extent the angels had tortured him. He and Gabriel did not often get along, but they both cared about Castiel.

Gabriel put the container of food on the table and then wrapped an arm around Sam. He kept his voice light and conversational as he said, "Come on, babe, let's go get Cassie some pretty flowers.

Sam looked back at Dean nervously and then held onto Gabe as he left. Dean watched them, waiting until the door had swung shut, and then looked down at Cas, swallowing nervously. He pet his shoulders as gently as he could...barely touching him, because he did not know what had happened, but he needed to connect with Castiel. Cas needed it. "It's okay, baby."

Cas shivered despite himself as Dean pet him. "It's not. You're going to be mad..."

"But not at you. Never at you, baby. I promise... I'll punch those god damn angels in the face, maybe..." Dean kissed his forehead, moving his hand up to his dark brown hair. "Tell me?"

"Don't punch them...they're just being..." Cas sighed and finally sat up, looking down at Dean. "...go lock the door and I'll show you?"

Dean looked up at him and said quietly, "Will it hurt you?"

"They are part of me...showing you won't hurt..."

Dean swallowed and nodded, for the first time since the day before, untangled himself from Cas to lock the door. He pulled down the shades on the window and turned back to his boyfriend slowly.

Cas sighed and looked at Dean gently. He then rolled his shoulders back and let his wings be revealed. They were still black but noticeably slimmer and more ruffled, thinned out in places and so much more vulnerable looking. "My...my primary feathers have been plucked out...I...I can't be an angel currently..."

Dean looked at his wings sadly, anger building inside him as he looked at all the areas of Cas' wings that he had loved. He swallowed and walked forward. "If I touch them, will it hurt?"

"Not if you touch gently." Cas's wings trembled, a little nervous. There were some twisted feathers and bent ones. Cas hadn't had time to clean them or treat them.

"It's okay.... you're okay, baby." Dean swallowed and made sure Cas could see him as he reached forward. "Let me take care of them?"

Cas nodded, wings twitching slightly. "How do you want me?"

"However you feel comfortable." Dean looked into his eyes, swallowing and making sure Cas could see his hands.

Cas nodded and relaxed on the bed, breathing slowly. "Okay...you can touch me."

Dean leaned down and kissed Cas lovingly before he knelt over him, giving him room to escape if he wanted to. He leaned up and gently started setting feathers straight and unbending them. He took his time cleaning them, always making sure he stayed in clear view.

Cas tensed initially, still in a bit of pain. But, he eventually relaxed and started enjoying Dean's touch. He was purring before long, tugging Dean down to nuzzle him affectionately as Dean’s fingers worked through the feathers, taking time to massage the skin underneath.

Dean smiled and whispered, "I haven't even finished a wing yet, baby." He kissed Cas gently, his hands finding Cas’s hips as they were wont to do when Cas turned into a kitten and rubbing them.

Cas merely leaned up and caught Dean's earlobe between his teeth and sucked lightly, happily. Eventually, he whispered, “It feels good, Dean...so good."

Dean smiled and kissed his forehead. "Let me finish, baby. I hate seeing your wings like this..." He sat up and winked at him gently.

Cas nodded and then turned his back on Dean, exposing himself thoroughly for him. He trusted him. Dean smiled at the little display and helped Cas lay down on his belly, situating his broken arm high so it didn't get hurt. He kissed the back of his neck and sat up, starting to work again. He enjoyed the silence, the chance to touch his boyfriend and fix him up. Cas hummed, closing his eyes. He wanted to touch Dean, but he liked how Dean was basically playing with his feathers. It felt good. He nuzzled the pillow, purring and being adorable mostly.

It took over an hour for Dean to set Cas' wings to rights. But it was worth it in the end when his wings looked cleaner. More like normal. They were still less fluffy than before, slimmed out by the plucking of his primary feathers, but they were in order now. He slid off of Cas and under a wing to kiss his cheek. "There... all better."

Cas hummed, just leaning in to kiss Dean softly. His wings wrapped possessively around Dean and himself. "Better."

Dean smiled and wrapped an arm around Cas gently. "Will your feathers grow back?"

"Yes, they will." Cas gave Dean and eskimo kiss. "It'll just take time. The primary feathers are the most important feathers, but I can live without them...I’ll be human like for a while, Dean."

"Well then. Maybe I'll be human like for a while, too. Get a job in a garage... and be normal with you. How's that sound?" Dean leaned in and gave him a real kiss.

Cas hummed and wrapped himself around Dean more firmly. "That sounds good."

Dean kissed Cas's nose and relaxed. "We can take care of each other."

"Okay. I will always take care of you." Cas kissed Dean's forehead and wrapped his good hand over Dean's arm, over the handprint that he had left on his human’s body. "You are mine after all."

Dean smiled and pressed them closer together. "Put those wings of yours away and we can go ahead and get some sleep."

Cas smiled shyly. "I thought you liked my wings." He obediently slipped them away and nuzzled Dean contentedly.

"Oh, I love them... but I'm the only one allowed to see them or touch them from now on. No nurses, no Gabe, no Sam... just me."

"Oh. Okay." Cas kissed Dean deeply. "Mmm...I do love you."

Dean smiled and bundled Cas close to his chest and held him tight. "I love you, too."

"I'm sorry...I'll...I'll never do that again."

"Good... you nearly made me cry, baby." Dean kissed his forehead. "I forgive you though."

"I was crying. You...you mean too much to me, Dean Winchester." He held on tighter to him.

"Shh. I've got you now. I'm not letting you go either." Dean kissed him. "No  more crying."

Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and sighed happily. "Okay Dean...I love you."

Dean smiled and relaxed. "Good night, Cas."

:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Cas and Dean were inseparable, more so than usual. Dean was constantly at Cas’s bedside, if not actually in bed with him. Dean was more protective of Cas than he had been previously, something that even Gabriel knew not to comment on; even when Dean glared at Gabriel for getting too close to Castiel. Gabe had merely laughed it off and ruffled Castiel’s hair before wrapping an arm around Sam’s shoulders and pulling him close, kissing his temple. 

Castiel got restless after another two days and kept trying to pull the IVs off or get the cast off. Dean was there to stop him and for that, more than anything else, was probably why the nurses did not impose regular visiting hours on Dean. Dean would take Cas’s hands and kiss each fingertip before kissing Cas’s forehead and just saying, “No, wait.” 

And Castiel would listen to Dean, because he loved him. But, it just annoyed him more and more, because he was used to being an angel and able to keep moving. Now, he was prisoner to his body and it frustrated him. Dean gave him reasons to be patient, such as soft, slow kisses and long massages. 

Still, both of them were grateful when Castiel was finally released. Dean signed all the paperwork, still pretending to be Castiel’s husband, making all the nurses coo and sigh over precious little Castiel and his cuddly husband who spent much too much in Castiel’s bed. The nurses had learned to work around Dean and were grateful when Dean helped them by holding Cas still. 

Cas practically jumped out of the wheelchair as soon as they were out of the hospital and just went to hug Dean, pressing up against him. As Dean got more protective, Cas got more clingy. Neither of them minded, though. 

“Car’s this way, lover birds,” Gabriel said in a sing-song voice. He twined his fingers with Sam’s, swinging their hands as they walked towards the Impala. 

Dean chuckled and kissed the top of Cas’s head. “You okay to walk, baby, or do you want me to carry you?”

“I can walk,” Cas said simply, but he wrapped his good arm and his cast around Dean’s neck. Dean smirked against Cas’s cheek and scooped him up, slipping an arm around Cas’s ass as the angel’s legs wrapped around his waist. 

He carried Cas over to the car and went to the passenger’s side. Gabriel blocked his way. “No, you two are going into the back, Dean. I’m not having you crashing the car when Cassie gets a little handsy and won’t leave you alone.” 

“Gabriel. My car.”

“I’m with Gabe on this one, Dean,” Sam said before Gabriel could snap at Dean and start a full-fledged argument. “Just go sit in the back with Cas. We’ll drive and you two try and keep it PG 13, all right?”

Dean grumbled, but obeyed, sliding into the backseat of the car. They were far away from where they’d settled down, but the long ride was not bad. Sam and Gabriel bantered while music played softly. Dean listened to their conversation and occasionally contributed, but mostly, he just leaned back in the seat and let Cas trace his fingers gently over Dean’s ribs and pectorals, his rectus abdominis muscles (Cas had become fascinated with anatomy while in the hospital and loved to learn the muscle groups and bones on his own living, breathing model) and kiss softly at his neck in between naps. Dean just ran his fingers through his messy and soft hair, listening to Cas’s soft purr when Dean did so. Finally, they arrived to the cozy little cottage where Sam and Gabriel lived and Cas was asleep again. Dean figured it best not to disturb the ‘little angel,’ as Gabriel teasingly said, and just picked up his boyfriend, cradling him to his chest. 

Sam and Gabriel said something about going to make lunch and that they would call Dean down once it was ready, leaving Dean to carry a stirring Cas up to the guest room. He put Cas down on the bed and carefully took his socks and shoes off and then started on Cas’s coat when the pliant body woke up and Cas looked at him caught between just waking up and desire. Dean and Cas both had a bit of a kink for morning sex, or in this case, just waking up. 

“No,” Dean said warningly, before Cas could even move. He continued taking the trench coat off him. He folded it carefully and put it on the chair in the room, stepping away from Cas.

“But, Dean,” Cas whined sleepily, reaching out for him. “Please?”

“No, Cas.”

“Dean...please.”

Dean sighed, looking at the pleading face, the wide blue eyes, and went over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. He caressed Cas’s cheek. “Baby, you’re still hurt.”

“I’m healing, Dean. They released me. They wouldn’t do that unless they thought I was okay. Dean, please, please,” Cas said pleadingly. He wrapped the arm in a cast around Dean’s hips and let his good hand slide up Dean’s stomach. “Please, Dean, I need you. I’ve needed you...”

“Cas, baby...” Dean cupped the angel’s face with a hand and looked at him. It took him a few moments, but he was able to read that expression on his face. “Baby, I know you love me.”

“This is--”

“Cas, I know you think love and sex are very similar, but they’re not. There are differences. And we love each other, but that doesn’t mean we need to have sex. I know you’re trying to apologize for trying to break up with me, but, angel, you’re already forgiven.”

Cas leaned up and kissed him. “I still want you, Dean. Please, Dean. Let me make you happy.”

Dean studied him for a few more moments and then shook his head. “No. I’m going to make you happy.”

“Dean, I--Dean!” Cas tensed up as Dean suddenly picked him up. He wasn’t sure what Dean was going to do with him. However, Dean merely sat down on the bed, against the headboard and then placed Cas between his legs, Cas’s back pressed against Dean’s warm chest. Cas settled there happily, putting his unhelpful arm out of the way and sliding back to press his ass against the firm bulge in Dean’s jeans. He even managed a smile as Dean bit back a groan. However, Cas was not smiling for long because Dean suddenly had a hand rubbing against him through his pants and immediately Cas was whimpering and biting his lip. 

Dean chuckled against Cas’s ear, making the angel shudder and press back against him. Dean licked at Cas’s ear and then whispered softly, in this dangerous tone that never failed to make Cas fall to pieces, “Easy, baby, I’ve got you. I’m going to take good care of you.” Each word was punctuated with a rub against Cas’s clothed erection that had the smaller man squirming in Dean’s arms. 

“Dean, I want--” 

Cas did not get to finish his statement, because Dean had tilted Cas’s head to his and was kissing him demandingly, not giving him time to think. All Cas could process was a warm and familiar tongue licking at his palate and then coaxing him to respond. And then the hand on his jaw was gone and running down his chest, taking its time to rub each of his nipples through the thin cotton shirt, making them peak, and Cas moan with each rub of smart, callous fingertips. All the while, with his other hand, Dean just kept squeezing and rubbing and stroking Cas through his jeans. Cas’s hand scrambled for something to hold onto, settling on Dean’s knee and squeezing tightly as his hips bucked forward, trying to get just a little more pressure. 

Dean used both hands to undo Cas’s jeans and slid them and Cas’s underwear down his hips slightly. He didn’t want to dislodge the panting mess of an angel he had, so he just got enough room to work with. He tugged Cas’s cock out and wrapped a hand around the hardening length. Cas moaned, pulling away from the kiss to let his head fall back onto Dean’s shoulder and whisper Dean’s name breathlessly. 

“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you. I’m gonna take care of you. You just enjoy it,” Dean whispered against Cas’s ear before going to nuzzle the crook of Cas’s neck, the soft skin that is just begging to be marked up. Dean took his time, gripping Cas firmly and bringing his hand up and down. He rubbed his thumb over the head and twisted his fist as he brought his hand down and Cas liked that, judging by the loud moan and full body shudder. “Good, baby, I want to hear you.”

Cas groaned and closed his eyes tightly, body tight as a bowstring. Dean kept one hand moving at the maddeningly slow pace, his other hand going to cup and fondle him, which drew a keening sound out of Cas. 

It wasn’t until Cas was mewling and his body was covered in a light sheen of sweat that Dean removed his lips from Cas’s neck to press against the sensitive skin beneath his ear and whispered, “Cas, baby, I love you more than I can ever say. I’m not a good man...not much of a righteous man, but for you, I’d try. I’d do anything.” 

As he talked, he sped up the motions of his hands, both gripping Cas’s erection and stroking fast and hard, twisting just the way that Cas liked. Cas moaned and trembled, teetering on the edge. 

“There’s not a thing in the world that I wouldn’t do for you, Cas. You mean everything to me...I can’t think of a world where you’re not at my side. So, even if you try to break up with me, I’ll keep coming back, keep trying to win you back, convince you to stay. That’s how much I love you, baby. You’re my baby, my angel, my lover, the only person I ever want to have. And it’s not easy for me to say all of this, and you know it. It took us so long to get here, but I’m so happy. You’re the love of my life, Castiel.”

“Dean,” Cas panted, words muddled together and interspersed with little noises of pleasure that were for Dean’s ears only, “I love you, I want you, I need you.”

“I know, baby. Come for me, it’s okay; I’ve got you.”

Cas grips Dean’s knee tightly as his orgasm spiked through him. He cried out and it was one of the most beautiful things Dean had ever heard. Cas turned his head wordlessly, eyes open but not seeing, and Dean kissed him through the waves of pleasure, coaxing Cas through it as his body all but vibrated. 

Once Cas finished and went completely boneless in Dean’s arms, Dean settled Cas down on the bed and cleaned him up, putting Cas’s clothes back to rights. Cas curled up on his side as Dean settled behind him, wrapping his arms tight around the little angel. 

Cas was quiet for a few moments, letting Dean settle in against his back and kiss at the nape of his neck. “I do know all that, Dean.”

“No problem in reminding you. Your wings are all right with this, right?” Dean asked, nuzzling at his lover’s soft skin. 

“They’re fine.” Cas was silent for a few moments, fingers tracing little circles on the back of Dean’s hands and wrists. “I am yours.”

“And I’m yours, baby.”

“Promise?”

“Always.” Dean sat up slightly and angled Cas’s face so he could kiss him fleetingly. “Now, get some rest. I’ll be right here. I’m not leaving you again.”

As Cas obeyed, closing his eyes and starting to drift off, he heard Dean start to hum a few lines of a song and Cas suddenly knew that they would be okay. They would weather it all together and things would be okay. They would be okay, because Dean loved him.


End file.
